Full Circle
by 14karatgold
Summary: Omniscience doesn't exist for any one person at any one time. Oneshot series.
1. Chapter I: The Noose

Full Circle

Summary—Several stream-of-consciousness stories from behind the eyes of Bella's family. Inspired by A Perfect Circle. Not songfics, just little tidbits based off the lyrics. Take place mostly in New Moon and Eclipse.

Rated K+ just because.

Angst.

Disclaimer- I own neither the rights to Twilight nor A Perfect Circle. Just playing with them for a while. (This is my disclaimer for all chapters.)

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Chapter I

The Noose

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As I held her for the first time in months, there was one thing I came to realize: this was not the same Bella I had so callously left behind. She was hesitant, reserved… cautious almost. I wanted to make it all go away, but this change must have ultimately been my punishment. As I held her, we were close—God we were so close!—and yet she was still so far away in a place I could not reach.

When we were together—and happy—back in Forks, ours had been an almost forbidden love, such as that between an angel and a demon. The demon left his angel to let her fly free, but instead, his absence tore her halo down around her neck and the weight of it grounded her in the cruel world of reality. Her cloud of innocence was the home he had loved and shared with her, but he had dragged her away from it to evolve and darken on Earth—alone. I had loved her enough to leave her, but perhaps that had been a mistake.

I had hoped that my love for her—even my love from afar—would calm the souls of those I had heartlessly—hopelessly—destroyed. My love had not changed, but had hers? If so, then I felt that I owed a debt to those souls and would repay it soon enough. If she no longer loved me, then why should I bother remaining? If I was as dead to her as I was to myself, then why should I wait until her death to die?

With all those questions running about my mind, there was no room for anyone else's thoughts. For this I was grateful. I didn't need the advice of my sister or the bloodthirsty thoughts of those around me to intrude on my possibly short moment with my Bella. She had been there, in my arms, waiting as I was, so who was I to refuse such an opportunity? I held her close and sighed into her hair, grateful for the contact, however short-lived it might have been.

Her response was bittersweet: she relaxed, but not enough for my liking. I tried not to get my hopes up, and therefore decided this: Whatever happens now, this hesitancy has to go. First, before all else, I would have to pull that halo up from around her neck and restore it to its proper place. I wanted to give her back her dignity and confidence, then let her show me what _she _wanted.

With either result, my debt to my dead would be repaid.


	2. Chapter II: The Outsider

Chapter II

The Outsider

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I don't understand it! Why would she want this?

She has her own life. Why does she _need _to be involved in ours?

Everyone in the family is infatuated with her. Infatuated enough to grant her wish at the very least!

I can't allow it. I won't. She can have everything I ever wanted. She'll regret becoming our sister within a decade or two, no matter how much she claims to love Edward! She'll regret it when it becomes painfully obvious that she can't go back. It'll be nearly impossible for her even to die, for she'll want that too.

I know.

I've been down that road. I even put my toes on it every once in a while, in my darker hours. If not for Emmett, I would have walked it all the way down to the Volturi long ago.

Just like Edward almost did.

Why are they so willing to give everything up for each other? Had I been given an option, I never would have left my human life for this. Never, despite how much I love Emmett. If only to have my own child…my own life…my own _death_….

_I_ think she'll regret her decision soon enough, but maybe she won't. It's hard for me to say—I've never really tried to get to know her like the rest of the family, but maybe it's time to. She needs to really know from my experience what she's giving up.


	3. Chapter III: Pet

Chapter III

Pet

WARNING of slight foul language usage.

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I don't know how many times I walked into her room to see her staring at the window with lifeless, unblinking eyes. She was so still she could have been dead.

"The Bogeyman's not gonna come for you, Bells. I assure you of that. And he's definitely not gonna come in through your window."

"You don't need to remind me, Charlie." Ouch. "I know this well enough already."

That was the longest phrase I had gotten out of her in weeks. She was in her own little dark world—day-in, day-out—after the Cullens left.

After _Edward _left.

That boy made me want to _kill _him for what he did to my Bella.

But no. He and his family were happily settled in Vegas or LA (or wherever it was that they were) while my poor little girl sat staring at dark, empty windows. I almost hoped the Bogeyman _would _appear if he got that look off her face. Somehow, though, I doubted he would.

My poor Bella. How I wanted to be a _father _to her. To protect her from everything: pain, truth, choice—all evil things that spoil innocence before its time.

Most of all, I wanted to save her from _him. _The bastard seemed her have abnormally long clutches to be holding her from this far away.

Sigh.

He must've been the Bogeyman she waited for on those long nights. It was painfully obvious that he didn't care, and she knew it. She was no longer the fun, innocent girl I once knew as my daughter.

"Go back to sleep, Charlie."


	4. Chapter IV: Weak and Powerless

Chapter IV

Weak and Powerless

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I was always so careful with her. Always. It took time, but eventually I was able to grow used to her scent, although it still tugged viciously at the back of my vampire mind.

Still, at least I was able to be in the same room as her. It was a start, and a good one at that.

Until it happened.

I had dreaded it from the moment I met her. 'Oh God! What if she falls and bleeds?' I didn't think I had the strength in me to fight that ever-gnawing monster in my stomach. You know, the one that craves for human blood.

Excluding Carlisle, I had lived the longest vampire life of all of them, and yet I still felt as though I were the youngest… The difference between us is that I fed and nurtured my ailment for so long, before realizing, 'Wait. This isn't right,' and turning instead to the 'Vegetarian Option.'

I was the one that had preyed upon humans as though they were mere cattle. I was the only one out of all seven of us. I was the only one who had an addiction to break…and rehab is never fun.

So when she cut herself on that tiny piece of paper, the first thought through my head was how desperately ravenous I was…the second was of how powerless I was over my own urges…the third was of how that innocent little piece of paper was mocking me, saying, 'You're not strong enough, Jasper. You never were, and you never will be.'

My answer to such taunts is always, 'Maybe, but I'm trying anyway,' and that's enough for me.


End file.
